And she's right before me

And she's right before me. One step of darkness into one step of light. But I'm in the darkness. She, in the light. We walk in this line, in black, in white.
Then there is grey, where the others thread. Sometimes, it pulls us apart. When we're alone, there is only contrast. It is neither good, nor hate. Its just that light travels in a straight line. I am not in that straight line. She smiles, and she moves the world. I don't.
I've tried crossing over. But I thread even in the dimmest of her rays, and all I meet are these melting eyes. Just an inch away, it makes a difference. Sometimes, the light pierces.
It hurts
But We've one thing in common: we both can't see. Yet we're not blind to the things around us. Yet we ravish in our own ignorance.
Then there is grey, where others thread. Again, it pulls us apart.
I said I didn't care
And she lavished her golden smile upon me, and I know when there is grey, She goes to where only light can take her.
Where I can't follow.
Its her world. Of the food of love. Of wine and laughter, of humour in smokescreen, of recordance on forever. If forever's enough. Its her basking light, Its what she does best. It's danger to me. Even If I want to. I know I can't go.
One step and it's turmoil. One step and it breaks my affinity with comfort. And if I break free
I fear she's too far away. Even now she's calling, and all I hear is her echo. Sometimes, I am completely deaf and when I am, I'll say I dont care
But I do, and it rages so much I feel like a fool. I want to run, I want to abandon hope. I want to hate. Something tells me to wait. It's her whisper. I'll be in the light soon. with her. When? When? I can't wait for these oceans to run dry. I can't wait for the sun to burn so bright it melts every other thing in sight. I'm selfish. In my selfishness I say: I want it now. Then my world turns a little darker, Her glow a little dimmer, another inch further. Defeat has served its last course meal, and I am jealously powerless. I take a step backward and unwilingly learn acceptance. Acceptance means peace.
It hurts
It makes me so weak, I retreat and fade away...